June 23, 2003
Keith Olbermann?
Cornell University is a private school located in Ithaca, New York. It was founded in 1865 by Ezra Cornell and Andrew Dickson White and now has seven undergraduate and six graduate and professional units. It is one of eight schools in the Ivy League.
Famous graduates include Joyce Brothers, Adolph Coors, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Bill Maher, Toni Morrison, Keith Olbermann, Janet Reno and E. B. White.
And just for Meagan, Cornell awarded the nation's first university degree in veterinary medicine.
Yet Another Consultant Joke
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly
a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The
driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd...
"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will
you give me one?"
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at
his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and
connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and
then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex
formulas.
He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received
a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his
miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says.......
"You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He
watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into
his car.
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my animal?"
"OK, why not." answered the young man.
"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's
correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No
guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here
although nobody called you. You want to get paid for
an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you
don't know crap about my business.... Now give me back my dog."
BART opens at SFO. When
BART opens at SFO. When will it reach the Peninsula?